Seeming as we have only a week and a half left of the pregnancy I decided to write a final post about how I am currently feeling at this stage of the journey. It probably won't be pretty - but it will be honest.
I am so ready to have these babies - I have to laugh when people keep trying to tell me that I don't want them to come out yet because once they are here I will get no sleep. The reason this makes me laugh - I already get no sleep. In fact last night - I only managed to get an hour and a half. I finally fell asleep at 3am and woke up at 4:30am unable to sleep through the pain and discomfort. I ended up sitting on the couch down stairs crying my eyes out into my pillow so I wouldn't wake up the rest of the house. I was miserable. It was probably one of the lowest lows I have experienced this pregnancy and seeming as it was happening at such an early hour I had no choice but to deal with it on my own. I felt overwhelmed, sore, tired, frustrated and completely alone.
The sheer weight of the babies, placentas and fluid is really taking it's toll. I can no longer sit, stand or walk without pain - just walking to the bathroom in the evening is a slow and painful process. My skin is stretching beyond what I thought would be possible and also causes me to be uncomfortable and sore. My back is struggling to cope with the added weight and my hips are a constant source of pain when I am laying down. Baby B has also found a home sitting under my ribs and pressing on my lungs making breathing very difficult. All in all - there is no position I can get into that is comfortable or pain free. Throw in the braxton hicks contractions and you have one very emotionally and physically drained Bec.
Am I nervous about having twins? Absolutely! Am I aware of how difficult it is going to be - especially in the first few months? You bet! The one thing I can say that will make it all worth it will be having the ability to look upon the faces of these darling babies and seeing how worth it this all was. I am also looking forward to having other people be able to step in and help. Right now no one can do anything to ease my pain - once the babies arrive, people - including Paul and the kids can give me a break and take the babies for a while. This will be such a relief. I will no longer be facing the challenge of twins on my own - it will be a family affair and I know that Paul and the kids are looking forward to the challenge and meeting these special girls! I also know that the twins are just as excited to meet Paul and the kids. They kick like crazy when they hear their voices - especially their daddy!
I cannot thank Paul enough for his love and support during this pregnancy. For all those who know Paul well - you know he isn't a huge sympathy man. When he is sick he sucks it up and gets on with life and expects a similar reaction from those around him. This pregnancy however he has been my rock. He sits and listens to me whinge and complain, holds me when I just need a good cry and does everything he can to try and ease my pain whilst encouraging me and telling me how great I am doing. Text messages like "You are doing so great" or "you are so strong" have not been uncommon and it makes the world of difference to me to know he is there whenever I need him. I have always said his hugs can cure and this pregnancy has been no exception. I would have cracked up long ago if it wasn't for his support and love. Thank you for being so amazing hun - I am so lucky to have you!
I can;t finish this post without also mentioning the love and care given to me by the kids. They are constantly rubbing my back, getting me drinks, making me dry toast and grabbing the 'spew bucket' when I am sick. They also pray for me every night asking that I will feel better! They talk to the babies to soothe them, help me up the stairs and have stepped up their chores so I have less work to do around the house. We are truly blessed with two amazing kids and can only hope the twins are as great as their older siblings. I love you Emma and Hayden - thank you for all your help!
I will be posting one more photo of my bump before delivery so check back for that soon. See you soon babies - we can't wait to meet you!
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